i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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