distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
he fucked my hip out of place.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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