I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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