Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
