My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
