Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
