you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
