Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
