Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
