My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
