Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
