You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
