How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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