My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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