I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
