dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
