I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
