Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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