were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
