so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
