It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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