i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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