I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Randomize
