you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
