One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize