Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
