I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
