ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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