You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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