Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
