I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
