i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
