he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
