You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
