haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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