And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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