lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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