This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
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