Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
