no, he came in my armpit
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
