there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
