found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
