Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
