I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
The best revenge is premature balding
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Randomize
