Ketchup is God's man juice
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
