my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
