Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
