Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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