I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
