What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
