If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
