i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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