It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
