All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
