chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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