Dual....:-)
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
