Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
