i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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