omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
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