But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
